If you’ve read much on my blog at all, you’ve probably noticed I’m a promoter of peace. I encourage people to look at all sides of an issue and strive for healthy dialogue. You’ll see on my “About This Blog” page, that one of my goals from the start was to bring people “to the table” and let their voices be heard. Among the six goals I list for the blog is the following:
Conversation – I believe the best solutions come when we do life in community. Whether we’re looking for answers to global problems, theological debates, or just day-to-day conundrums, we’ll take a look at varying opinions and develop an ear to really listen and hear what others think and feel about the issues at hand. Open-mindedness and civility will be part of our core values, but that doesn’t mean we’ll tip-toe around the issues.
Tonight I’m wondering why I’VE been tip-toeing around the issues that are very important to me. Why am I not really letting MY voice be heard?
I can come up with several answers that sound good on the surface. For instance, I’ve kind of prided myself on the fact that as much as I’ve written on the topic of Ferguson/Mike Brown (nine posts), I’ve not tipped my hand to let people know where I stand on the particulars of the situation. In this case, I’ve viewed myself more as the moderator than the debater. But I do have some definite opinions on the matter (get ready, they’re coming below).
Then there’s the issue of gender equality. As a woman pastor, I have experienced much opposition, discrimination and even hateful behavior in my life. And yet, I have only one post in the category of gender issues here. For that, I really have no excuses.
After writing those last two paragraphs, it seems obvious to me why my blog has not accomplished the goal of creating the dialogue I had hoped. How can I expect others to be comfortable expressing their opinions if I’m not comfortable expressing my own? So, with no more ado, here’s my list of controversial things I’ve wanted to say on my blog but haven’t. It’s a partial list, but it’s a start.
1. “Stop snitching” is no different than cops covering for cops. If you hate one you have to hate the other. If you oppose one, you have to oppose the other. If you protest against one, you have to protest against the other. They are the same thing. Both hide the truth. Both give preference to the perpetrator over the victim. Both hinder justice.
2. I am sick of the hate mongering of racists and sexists, especially from those who profess to be Christians. You might be a racist or a sexist if …
- The only social media posts you make are about how despicable the “other side” is. Can you seriously not see one valid point your “opposition” is making?
- You post ugly stories about the other gender or another race to justify the ugly stories you see about your own. You don’t post these stories to show how sad the situation is, or to foster discussion with the opposition. You do it to stir up your side in anger. You do it solely to prove this is why your side is “provoked” into doing the ugly things it’s doing.
- Your side has done absolutely nothing wrong, ever.
3. Wal-Mart is not the same as Woolworth. The sit-ins at the Woolworth stores in the 60s made sense. Woolworth had a policy of denying blacks the right to sit and eat at their lunch counters. The sit-ins there showed courage and took action against the actual perpetrator of the injustice. It is not the same with Wal-Mart and the shooting of John Crawford. Wal-Mart just happened to be the location where a terrible tragedy occurred. If you want to stage a protest that actually convinces the other side to hear you out, do it in a location and a manner that makes sense. Shutting down a business that was an “innocent bystander,” and creating loss of income for the employees, only furthers the annimosity of those who are prone to turn a deaf ear to you in the first place.
4. To completely throw your support behind Officer Darren Wilson before all the facts are known is just as incredulous as throwing all your support behind Mike Brown before all the facts are known. Yet, again, both sides see the injustice on the one side, but not on their own. I am flabbergasted.
5. I will not have my “role” in the church, society or home defined by the curse found in Genesis 3. I do not understand how the ONLY result of the curse which is defined as “God’s creative order” or “original plan” is the one line that says man shall rule over woman. In every other aspect of the curse – the serpent will now crawl on its belly, woman will have pain in childbirth, man will have to struggle with the earth to get his food – no one will say those things are God’s original plan or desire. They are all seen as the results of sin and the fallen state. Yet, man’s rule over woman is not? I understand that a full theology of the roles of men and women must encompass the whole of Scripture, but how can we even move on to further discussion if the foundational premise is this flawed?
I was wondering how I was going to conclude this seemingly hodgepodge list post, but as I wrote that last sentence the connection of all the points became clear to me. The basic issue behind all of these controversies is the inability, or unwillingness, of one side to concede ANY point to the other. Likewise, there is a failure to recognize ANY common ground.
One place of commonality for those active in the causes of both gender issues and racial equality is supposedly a call for justice. So, let’s start by talking about justice itself – with open minds and open hearts – with a true desire to have justice for ALL. It might start by asking questions like the following and really listening to the perspective of the other. Where do you feel like I have been unjust? Do I come across as saying justice for me is more important than justice for you? How can we work together more effectively for the cause of justice? What will a just society really look like?
And more specifically in the realm of Christian dialogue on these matters, our common framework is supposed to be the love of Christ. So, the questions to start with might be … How do you feel I have been unloving towards you in this debate? Is our approach to this issue showing Christ’s love towards each other and to the world?
Now that I’ve overcome my hesitations and thrown all this out there in the blogosphere, I’m sure I’ll have some follow-up posts. I hope you will join me at the table today and in the days to come.
9 thoughts on “5 Controversial Statements about Race and Gender I’ve Really Wanted to Post on My Blog but Haven’t – Until Now”
Lisa, I commend you for your honesty and bravery. I often wonder why everything has to be all or nothing. No one is blameless, and it seems to me that the protests ARE causing people to turn against the very thing they were intended to promote. Instead of trying to understand, I think most people are just tired of the situation and the negative impact it has had on people who just happen to be trying to make Ferguson a good place to live.
I see a lot of what you are saying in almost any issue with two sides — between Democrats and Republicans, about education (homeschool vs. public, common core vs. anything else), Obamacare, gender preference issues, ‘rich’ vs. poor (and if you look at the world, we are almost all rich), and so on. Why is it so important for us to feel ‘right’?
There are so many things that have been said that could have led to great dialogues, but offense was taken at the comment and things just got ugly. Maybe we need a place where we could ask questions where the rules of common courtesy and curiosity apply. This could be a great place for that.
Honestly I can’t imagine being terrified everytime my teenage sons left the house, knowing that they will most likely be seen as thugs first, and kids second. My heart breaks for all mothers who are in that situation. I also don’t have a clue how police officers do their jobs — knowing that anyone they approach could easily turn and shoot at them without provocation. Their wives, just like the mothers above, have to wonder as they kiss their husbands goodbye if they will ever see them again. Both are right — and both are wrong.
The only place where I think it’s acknowledge that we are absolutely correct is in our desire for the Cardinals to win the world series!!!
Thanks for your thoughtful response, Susan. I appreciate that you illustrate what it means to have empathy for both sides. Really like that you think this might turn out to be a good place for honest dialogue. I also LOVE your closing line 🙂
Thank you for sharing your views! I hope it inspires the conversation you are looking for. I agree with your views so I may not be the voice you are hoping to hear from. Then again….
All voices welcome 🙂
Hi, Lisa. It’s been a while! Glad to be catching up a bit. Bravo for putting up this list and letting your passion fuel your words! It’s wonderful. Your points are well-stated and well worth consideration by all of us. I know this post is a bit old, but one of my readers said that finding old posts is like finding a treasure that was waiting right there all along–for just the right time.
Glad I stopped by and saw this!
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I’m glad you stopped by (and perused a bit), too, Elouise. It’s equally enjoyable on this end when someone finds an old “gem.”
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Something I have learned as a woman pastor and one who cares about justice issues – Micah 6:8 does not tell us to concern ourselves with getting justice but instead admonishes us to “do justice.” My reaction to injustice is just as important in God’s sight as the injustice done to me.
Right, Ruthie. One of my favorite Oswald Chambers devotions is along these lines. I’ve read it over and over when I’ve felt myself falling into a bad place (or “self-pity” as he would put it). My favorite quote from that devotion is: Never look for justice in this world, but never cease to give it.
You can find the rest of the devotion with the link below. It’s a great (and challenging) read.
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