No matter which “side” you’re on, or what you believe about any of the he said/she said in this terrible church situation, THIS is absolutely unacceptable! At the very least, it shows a total misunderstanding of the needs of victims. If it goes uncorrected, it shows a complete lack of true concern for them. I pray that those who attend this church will voice, in no uncertain terms, their concerns to the leadership that this is a very unwise approach to “helping” the victims.
Thank you, Julie Anne for a very insightful and thorough explanation of why this must be corrected.
Pastor Steve Wingfield and First Christian Church of Florissant offer counseling to Brandon Milburn’s sex abuse victims, but are there ethical issues involved?
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There is a large group of people, some current and some former members of First Christian Church of Florissant (FCCF), who have been very disappointed in how Pastor Steve Wingfield and church leaders have mishandled a sex abuse case connected with the church. Brandon Milburn, a former church employee who also worked with the youth at FCCF was sentenced to 25 years for rape/sodomy of two boys a few months ago.
Why are the people in this large group unhappy? For many reasons. I’d like to discuss an important one today. While church leaders have claimed not knowing about the sexual abuse allegations, others in this large group have said otherwise, indicating they had brought the sexual abuse allegations to the attention of church leaders and the church leaders failed…
I am a terrible fundraiser. I simply hate asking for money. For this reason, I have never taken a salary for the full-time work I do for our church plant. I just couldn’t raise funds for my own pay when the ministry needed the support. Almost two and a half years ago, I drew up plans to start a crowdfunding campaign for the book I’m writing (lacking a paycheck greatly hinders my ability to travel for the last leg of research I need to do).
But two days ago, I swallowed my pride and finally pushed the button on the campaign. As I’ve written before, I simply must get this book done as soon as possible. The friend I’m writing about has lived under an assumed name for over two decades and it’s time for him to reveal the truth about his life. He desires to do so in order to more effectively help others escape from the kind of life he used to lead. I’m honored that he’s asked me to help him tell his story. And now I’m asking if you would like to help, too.
The Go Fund Me campaign I’ve created offers rewards for this who choose to give to the project. Each reward level helps donors become increasingly more involved in the process to get this book written, published and promoted. I look forward to working with all who come along side me to get this story told. I am convinced many will be blessed by the book and by my friend’s ability to finally share how God brought him out of the “slimy belly of the underworld.”
To check out my Go Fund Me page and see the rewards I’m offering, click here or on the icon in the sidebar of this blog. And please, feel free to share with others. Your prayers will also be appreciated.
Author James Patterson says, “I try to leave out the parts people skip.” Of course, I read this just after finishing a section in my bookwhere I narrate the same scene twice – once as my main character’s wife (girlfriend at the time) saw it and then again from his point of view. I did this to show the different mindset each had at the time and also how that mindset determined which details of the event stay in their memory. I found it quite fascinating, but Patterson’s advice has me second-guessing my decision. I know, too, that we writers often fall in love with our own words and fail to cut things that are of no interest to the reader. So, I thought I’d throw the question out to you. Do you/would you enjoy reading the same scene twice from different perspectives? (I’ve included an excerpt from the scene in question below the poll if you want to read that before answering.)
BOOK EXCERPT
Note: Names and other identifying information has been blacked out since the true identity and location of the main character will not be revealed until the book is published.
She said:
The day I finally found out everything about TEXT HERE‘s past began as just another one of those times when he was being evasive and turning my questions back on me. I was still asking the simple question, “What’s your real name?”
He gave one of his standard put-off question-answers, “Where you think I come from?”
But this time, I wasn’t in the mood for his games, so I told him, “I think you’re in the Witness Protection program or something.”
He went silent for a second and took a step back. Then he asked, “What makes you say that?”
“Because you’re insanely fanatical about your privacy. You have all these rules about what I can and can’t know, where we can and can’t go together, and what I can and can’t do with you. I know you’re dealing drugs. All the time, you’re leaving me alone all night and I don’t even know where you are. I’m sure that must be the kind of thing you were doing in your past life, too. I get worried sick. I don’t know if I can do this anymore.”
“You’re right. TEXT HERE is not my real name,” he said, and started pulling out pictures of his former life in TEXT HERE. That was interesting and all, but it still didn’t really tell me who he was. Eventually, he said, “I tell you what. I’m going to leave, but I want you to look this over.” He got out a cream-colored photo album he had not shown me yet. “You should also search the Internet for the name TEXT HERE from TEXT HERE while I’m gone. There will be a lot of news articles to read over, besides the ones in this album, so take your time and go through it before I come back.”
As he was leaving, he asked if I would swear to secrecy what I was about to find out. I said I would. I was honored that he had finally entrusted me with the information he had guarded so fiercely. I kind of liked the idea that I would be the only person in TEXT HERE who knew his secrets. But, when I read those articles, the gut wrenching part of it was finally realizing that I didn’t know TEXT HERE at all. He was a figment of my imagination. A made up character out of some book.
Dealing with him was so exhausting day in and out. He never wanted to spend holidays with my family or me. It hurt to think he was always with that other family during those times. I took some comfort in thinking he was our little secret. I wore that like a badge of honor, until I found out later I was one of several people he had told some portion of his story to.
It was a weird situation and we had a strange relationship. It was like he held me to the highest expectation of loyalty and faithfulness but I dared not hold him to the same standard. All I can say is that I was a young girl with no self-respect. I could not see my own potential. I thought this was just how life was.
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He Said:
I remember vividly the day TEXT HERE came to my house on TEXT HERE Lane. This was a different house than the one we lived in together. I told her to meet me there because I needed to see her. Prior to her arrival, I was in deep meditation over my real life and the great affection I had for TEXT HERE. I really cared about her and trusted her, but I felt a deep guilt because I was living a lie. She didn’t even really know me. She had stole my soul and I wanted to advance our relationship. But before we did, I had to be honest with her about my past.
I was so tired of lying. I needed someone to accept me for me, so I was ready to tell her regardless of the consequences. I cried so bad before she got there because I wanted to be free and the pureness of her life and personality had made me begin to believe I could be.
I made the decision to tell her after calling my surrogate mother, TEXT HERE. I said, “I must tell this girl who I really am. If something would happen to her while she’s dealing with me … or if she put either me or her in danger because she’s unaware, I wouldn’t want to blame her. And I wouldn’t want her to blame me. Plus, I want someone I can trust to call my family if I get killed while running the streets here in TEXT HERE.” Mom had been saying I should tell her even before this, so she encouraged me to do it.
Once TEXT HERE got there, I started by describing different situations and asking her would she still deal with me if I done those sort of things. We was in my living room and I started showing her pictures of me from my past life, just to see how she would react and what questions she would have. At first, she asked simple questions, like how was I surrounded by so many celebrities and what my real name was. I was surprised when she finally said something about thinking I was in Witness Protection, but I thought, “Okay, now she’s ready to hear the rest.”
I took her into my office and showed her some of the newspaper articles about the organization I had been in and the trial. After telling her the so-called good part of my life (drug dealing, fame, fortune), I told her the story of my best friend TEXT HERE, and how much I loved and missed him. I explained that I had revenged his death and that’s what led me here to TEXT HERE. Then I told her that I was separated from my family because of that.
She had a look of bewilderment but she still seemed okay. She said, “I don’t care. That’s not bad. You’re good now, getting your life together. It’s no big deal.” That’s when I told her I wanted her to read some things, because I felt she didn’t understand. I must not have explained things fully. I reached in the file cabinet and pulled out my documents from the Witness Protection Program. They had all the information about the crimes I committed and so forth. I left the room. I was scared but it felt so good to finally tell someone everything about my life. It really didn’t matter if she accepted me or not, because it felt so good just telling her and handing someone else those documents.
I went back in the room later and asked her, “Now do you see who I am?” She acted like she was not fazed! I then told her all the details that wasn’t in the articles and paperwork. She stood there listening, showing no emotion. Like a judge, I thought. I was shaking inside, but it felt like I was in a Catholic confession booth being cleansed. Like a faucet turning on, the water of my story was running out my mouth and I didn’t stop until it was all drained.
She was not shaken afterwards. She hugged me and made me feel like she accepted me. I cried and, for the first time on this journey, I felt a sense of freedom.
I gave her the option to leave me, but she said not to worry about that. I felt she didn’t fully grasp what I had revealed, but it didn’t matter. What mattered was I finally let it all out.
I am so excited about this. I loved reading the life story of Lilias Trotter (it was partly responsible for the opening of The Merge Coffeehouse https://lisawomble.com/2014/05/24/how-we-ended-up-with-a-coffeehouse-the-merge/). Her artwork is so inspiring. I hope many more people are made aware of her legacy through this film.
For information on Timothy and the relationship between Timothy and Paul, see the following passages. Make notes on Timothy’s background, Paul’s expectations of Timothy, things Paul did for Timothy, and signs that Timothy was growing in the faith as a result of Paul’s influence. You might also think about how Paul’s investment in Timothy’s life brought rewards to Paul’s life as well.
2 Timothy 1:2-14
Paul prayed for Timothy daily.
Timothy’s mother and grandmother were believers.
Paul reminded Timothy to use his gifts and remember his calling.
Paul reminded Timothy that living a holy life is important.
Paul reminded Timothy of sound teaching and encouraged him to live by it.
Acts 16:1-5
Timothy’s father was not a believer.
Paul took Timothy with him on his missionary journey. This gave Timothy opportunity to develop his ministry skills, and also brought much joy to Paul as he watched his son in the faith grow into maturity.
Philippians 2:19-23
Paul praised Timothy and gave him his endorsement as he went out to the churches.
Paul sent Timothy out to minister to others and served as his “job coach.”
In the book Groups: The Life-giving Power of Community, authors Ortburg, Pederson, and Poling list some of the “forms that encouragement takes.”[1] Read the texts related to their list and make any notes that come to mind as you read. Also, as you read, if anyone comes to mind as needing any particular form of encouragement, write their names down in the space provided in the “Application” section.
*To believe in someone, to see their giftedness and ability to contribute:
1 Timothy 4:12-15
Paul calmed any fears Timothy may have had about being so young while in ministry.
Paul set high standards for Timothy, with confidence that Timothy could meet them.
Paul again reminded Timothy to be diligent, to watch his lifestyle, to be devoted to God’s word, and to persevere.
As you may have read previously, I go on an annual writing retreat with a few of my friends. It started with a group of four in 2012. It has been fun watching their works progress throughout the time we’ve been together. We’ve had some new friends join us more recently. They’ve added to the excitement and motivation of the event (as well as to follow-up discussions on a private Facebook page we share).
I’m happy to share the most recent publications of two of these friends.
Susan Lawrence has a new book out called Bombarded: A Devotional Journey. Susan was the more experienced writer in the group our first year, so she has many other resources as well.I have so appreciated her patience and encouragement to us newbies over the years. (I’m also thankful she’s willing to share from her stockpile of candles when I burn through mine in my all night writing sessions.) Susan is a beautiful woman of God with a heart full of joy and a countenance of peace that is contagious. You can find more information on Susan and her writings here.
Rhonda James joined our retreat for the first time this year. Like Susan, she was already a published author. I had the privilege of seeing her work with great passion on the final phase of her new book Miles Apart. She stays with her characters and story throughout the process (even in her dreams) in a way I had never witnessed. Rhonda is a sweet and fun-loving Christian woman. I enjoyed our time with her and look forward to getting to know her better. You can learn more about Rhonda and get a copy of her new book here. The page of her website I chose to share says the book is due out in June, but of course she finished before deadline. Still, it has a great excerpt from the book I thought you would enjoy.
Seeing their work in print has motivated me, so I’m off to my writing cave. I do believe I will have the complete draft of my book finished by mid-summer. Here’s to the joy of writing, and to the joy of knowing these wonderful writers.
This is something I posted last year for Mother’s Day. I’m reposting again as part of this month’s Encourager’s Devotional Series because it was part of the original work I did on the series. I expanded it for this month’s devotion on Spiritual Parenting, but had things in the original that were omitted. It also explains the story behind this month’s thoughts.
“Baby feet have got to be the sweetest things God ever created,” I found myself thinking as I was putting my daycare toddlers down to nap. With my own children being teens, I had forgotten how very much I love baby feet. This daycare job had turned out to be a surprisingly interesting and rewarding experience for me. I say it was a surprise because, when I was first offered the job, I cried – it was the last thing I wanted to do at that point…
A friend of mine has a great blog as “an exercise in female writing” and I was honored to have her share a post from me. I’m looking forward to seeing what others submit.
I’m not sure when I first heard the word menopause, but I’m sure I never heard it referred to in anything other than a negative sense. It was something horrible women were to dread.
As I grew older – again not remembering any specific conversations about it, just a general impression gathered – it came to mean a time when women “lost something.” In menopause, you would lose your youth and vitality. You would be subject to a body out of control. (Insert picture of a woman swooning onto a “fainting couch” while suffering “the vapors.”) You would be a “dried up” old woman.
You would never again be able to procreate, and even if you were past the time in your life where you would desire to do so, it still would be a horribly sad day for you. Something to mourn. A part of your identity so precious…
Reflections from time with God at Zion UCC Labyrinth, Florissant, MO
“I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord!” Psalm 27:13-14 (NKJV)
This scripture kept going through my mind after my sister’s death (Janell Joy Bartz, June 5, 1966 – September 19, 2012). Two weeks after her passing, I plugged earphones into my digital Bible to help feed myself the Word at a time I was not feeling prone to read it. I thought it might help me get to sleep (another thing I was not prone to do at that time). Later in the night, I woke up at the exact moment this passage was being read.
A few days later, I was at a labyrinth that I go to for prayer walks. Before going onto the prayer path, I sat on a bench for a while. A line of trees surrounds the labyrinth. I noticed a purple flower bud (Janell’s favorite color) on one near me. For a brief moment, I was comforted. Then, almost immediately, I noticed the very next tree in line behind it was already browning for fall and the coming winter. I thought, “A hint of life, but death is still in the background.”
When I got to the center of the labyrinth and stopped for contemplation, the dead tree was directly in front of me and I became overwhelmed. You see, Janell’s death was preceded just a week prior by the death of a 22 year old cousin who died in a car accident. That death alone had been very difficult to take, not only because he was so young, but also because it was yet another tragedy in my family which has a long history of young deaths, and violence and many forms of chaos and heartbreak.
While standing there, staring at the dead tree, I also thought of the many people I was praying for who were dealing with depression, and addictions and … well, many forms of chaos and heartbreak. For many of them, I had been praying a long time.
At that moment, the only prayer I could muster was, “Lord, I need to see someone overcome! To continue to believe it’s possible.”
Then, I remembered the meeting I’d had just that morning (how soon we forget) with the friend I am partnering with to write his life story. His is a story of someone redeemed from the worst of life’s circumstances. It is a story of true transformation that can only be brought about by the power of Christ.
I was gently reminded by God that there are many stories of redemption and transformation out there. And there are more to come. I WILL see the goodness of the Lord – in the land of the living. All of our hope is not just found “in the sweet by and by.” We don’t have to wait until we get to heaven to see the heaven’s move on our behalf. There is still hope for deliverance, here among the living, even when death is seemingly mocking us in the background.
Sharing this post from one of the friends I gather with for an annual writing retreat. It’s a perfect analogy of our time together and the friendship we share.
As a quilter, I’m a novice…an extremely early beginner. I need patterns and directions. But, I have a friend who is an advanced quilter, teaches classes, and has started to design quilts. She sees the project in her mind, buys the materials needed and puts her vision into reality.
I’m amazed by her skills and abilities to pull it together. I recently had the opportunity of spending a little over a week with her and other friends writing. Each of us has different ways to unplug and re-energize…to tap into creativity that eventually refuels our writing efforts. She brought her quilting project along for “down time.” I have gained new perspectives on the quilt design process along the way.
Early in the week, she started with squares of white fabric. On paper, she drew a design and transferred it to the squares – each containing a portion of the whole design…