Church

Can “Daughters of Eve” Never Be Free from The Curse? Exploring “Rule” and “Desire” in Genesis

/ Lisa Womble / 6 Comments

Until now, I have avoided blogging about “the woman issue” in the church because, frankly, I grew tired many years ago of being “the issue” and just decided to fulfill my calling. No need for further debate. Just lead by example and move on, I convinced myself.

Recently, however, one of the young women I used to mentor told me she would be using the book Captivating by Stasi Eldredge for a women’s Bible study she leads. I told her to be sure she sought out other sources for a balanced view. The very same day, I ran across Samantha Field’s blog and connected her to it since Field is currently running a series reviewing the Eldredge book.

I’ve had several follow-up conversations with the young woman as she’s gone through her studies. This has taken place in a private Facebook group we share with several other women. What has struck me in this group discussion is that, no matter how many voices there are out there encouraging women, the voices that seem to penetrate deepest (probably because they’ve heard them the longest) are those that tell them to “stay in their place.” This grieves my heart. And so, with that, I add my voice to those calling out for the redemption of the “daughters of Eve.”

As a starting point, I’ve chosen to add some commentary to Field’s most recent post. Here’s the excerpt from her post that prompted me to write today.

From Field – The next two pages are Stasi Eldredge sounding exactly like Helen Andelin (“It was a brilliant trap, well set,” because women should “cunningly” ensnare their husbands with manipulative traps), and then she relates a story about “Betsy” who was married to a “verbally abusive man” who was an elder, “mean,” who “villainized her to their children, their church.” But what did Betsy do– and what all women in her situation should do? She “didn’t seek divorce”; instead she: invited him to feel the weight of his consequences … She fasted and prayed … She gave him many tastes of what life could be like together …

The advice from Eldredge sounds a lot like the consequences of the curse for the relationship between men and women. When studying the curse and specifically the word “desire” in Genesis 3:16 (“Your desire will be for your husband, but he will rule over you.”), it is interesting to see the wording of that passage is almost identical to Genesis 4:7 in the story of Cain and Abel. There, sin is said to be desiring to overtake Cain, but he can master it. It seems like Eldredge is advising women to give in to the ungodly desires and tactics brought on by the curse.

A third parallel passage to this usage of “desire” (the only three times this word is used in the Bible) is found in Song of Solomon 7:10. There it says, “I am my beloved’s and his desire is for me.” Note the positive image of desire in Song of Solomon, as well as the role reversal. The context is a picture of a mutual relationship – She is his; he does not have to make her submit. “Rule” is not found, or needed, here. The context of Song of Solomon would indicate that this is a description of what the redeemed male-female relationship should be like, a contrast to the fallen state. It is a beautiful image.

But alas, most patriarchists would have women forever bound to the curse. “Daughters of Eve” are never to be free – not even in Christ.

The Merge to Host Screening of When the Saints Documentary

/ Lisa Womble / 3 Comments

Friday, July 11 @ 7:00 pm, The Merge will be hosting a screening for the When the Saints documentary.

When the Saints Film documents the story of one man’s mission to end sexual exploitation in the heart of Malawi, Africa, and his journey to discover that it begins in his own heart. Beautiful, honest, vulnerable, and wildly compelling, this story challenges us all to explore the unplumbed depths of our hearts. It calls us to care about justice for girls who are trafficked in rural Africa, and at the same time asks us to examine the ways we either dignify or exploit our brothers and sisters. Both thought provoking and universal, this film is a powerful tool to rally the saints with a greater cry for purity.

Take a look at the movie trailer.

Butchering the Bible

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Article by my husband on the ways we mishandle the Bible.

Post #1 about My Book: How I Got This Assignment to Write

/ Lisa Womble / 4 Comments

When he walked into my office and said, “You need to help me write my life story,” I knew this was a “God-thing.” For a full week prior to his request, during my quiet times of contemplation and prayer, I felt strongly pressed to begin the writing I’ve known I was meant to do for most of my life. Several books had been rolling around in my mind for years, so I figured God was encouraging me to finally get started on one of those. But life was busy for me, a workaholic, and I was thoroughly enjoying my position on the faculty of the Bible college where my friend and I met.

As always with such promptings towards adding writing to my agenda, I initially pushed the notion aside and relegated it to my “some day” pile. This time, however, my spirit continually went back to the thought, each time with a greater sense of urgency. At the end of that long week of feeling almost nagged about “getting to it,” in walked my friend with his proposal.

Besides the whole “God thing” (as if that wasn’t enough), I was intrigued by the possibility of writing his story because I already knew things about my friend’s life that were fascinating. I also had an inkling there was much more to it that had not yet been revealed.

Despite his current middle class lifestyle, I knew he had once led a life that was well connected to people above that status. He had friends in professional sports, in the music industry, and in Hollywood. He once arranged for my family to get VIP passes to a movie opening because he knew the star of the film. We were actually going to meet that actor. My kids were thrilled because they had grown up watching this particular star’s television show.

When we arrived at the event, my friend showed the organizers his personal text from the star himself and we were ushered into place immediately. It was amusing to see the reaction on the face of the girl who had come to see why we were butting in line once she got a look at that text.

I saw hints that day of my friend’s “other life” even in the way he dressed for the occasion and the way he carried himself. He easily blended in with the elite crowd. It was a strong contrast to the humble demeanor he usually maintained on our small Midwestern college campus.

My friend did not stay for the event after getting us into the VIP area. This was puzzling to me as I figured he’d like to see his old friend. Later, after I learned his full story, I understood why he didn’t stay. Having escaped his former life, he is very careful not to get too close to the things that once drew him into it. He’s had enough of the glitz, glamour and prestige his former dealings brought to him. He now leads a much simpler life, and prefers to keep it that way. It also now makes sense that we had to say we knew “Shots” (my friend’s former street name) when we were able to shake the actor’s hand. The actor wouldn’t have known him by his current name.

The information I learned about my friend that day in my office shed light on all these mysteries for me. He told me he is currently living under the name given to him by the FBI when he entered the Federal Witness Protection Program. His testimony at a trial that brought down the criminal organization he was once part of is the reason for his new identity.

We will reveal his identity – well, identities, both past and present – in the book we are writing. Until that time, I will refer to him in all future posts as Newman, because he is indeed a new man. And just FYI, “Shots” is also a fictitious street name. His actual nickname is well recognized in his former circles, so it won’t be revealed until later either.

As I shared the concept and drafts of this book with a few close friends, I learned not everyone is able to overlook someone’s past, even when that person’s repentance and transformation is obvious. Some still want “justice” but forget about mercy. It’s no wonder that few will really reveal their hearts and their histories, especially to “church folk.” Maybe that’s why God prepared me to view this project as divinely inspired the week before Newman revealed to me the full nature of his past.

His is a story of true transformation and I am honored to help him tell it. I believe this book will be a “must read.” For now, though, it is a “must write.” I’ll take any prayers, good vibes, mojo or whatever you want to send my way to help me make sure this assignment stays on the front burner of my still busy life. After all, this is a “God-thing” and I probably should make it a priority.

Press Release — The Merge Coffeehouse Now Opening Mornings

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Press Release — The Merge Coffeehouse Now Opening Mornings.

Going Deep Together to Reach New Heights

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GOING DEEP TOGETHER TO REACH NEW HEIGHTS

Going Deep Together

I wrote the following in my journal during a rough spot:
I don’t need you to tell me I’m wrong – somewhere inside I know this. I need you to talk with me about the deeper things surrounding this “wrongness.” To create a place I can live during the processing of it and still be loved and accepted. I need people who are really WITH ME as I work through it. People who call me to a higher standard (or maybe I should say call me to a deeper place) simply by being love to me – being Christ to me even when I am not yet Christlike enough. We can only be this for each other when we realize/admit none of us are “there” yet.

When I decided to share that journal entry here, I wanted an art piece to accompany it. So, I clicked on the page of one of my favorite artists, Gwen Meharg, and found the painting shown above. Click this link , then scroll down to the image of the painting on Gwen’s page and click that to see her explanation of the piece. It’s a great accompaniment for the thoughts I had when I was journaling.

I just want to add, too, that the link to Gwen’s work above is for her watercolors. She also does some amazing multi-media work. You can find it here.

How We Ended Up with a Coffeehouse @ The Merge

/ Lisa Womble / 6 Comments

HOW WE ENDED UP WITH A COFFEEHOUSE @ THE MERGE

How We Ended Up with a Coffeehouse @ The Merge

As important as our coffeehouse is to the overall vision of The Merge, you might find it interesting that we were as surprised by the concept as anyone else might be when we were in the planning stages for our church plant. Scott and I had known for years that we would someday plant a church. We knew it would have a heavy emphasis on music – thus, the music venue portion of our plans – because music is a significant part of Scott’s personal testimony (I’ll leave that for him to write about at some point). We also knew that we wanted to focus on a relational approach to church life, discipleship and outreach.

What was nowhere in our sights was a coffeehouse. That “little” addition to the plan was completely a God thing. So, I thought I’d share with you how that came to be.

I had been journaling for quite some time about the idea of dreaming big and living with passion. For over a week, I had repeatedly used the word “impossible” in my reflections. My mother-in-law had read a book about a missionary and told me that every time she picked it up to read it, she thought of me. So, she was going to hand it off to me when she finished.

One day, I was walking through the living room and saw a book lying on the ottoman entitled A Passion for the Impossible. I didn’t realize this was the book my mother-in-law had told me about or that she had left it for me. I just knew the title jumped out at me and I had to read this book.

It was the biography of Lilias Trotter, who became a missionary to Algeria in the 1800s. Prior to her work in Algeria, however, she lived in London. While there, her heart went out to the prostitutes she saw in the streets and she ministered to them through local missions and job training programs. Lilias eventually opened a storefront café where these women could come in off the streets, have a meal and “normal” conversation, and just feel loved. When I read about her café, I wrote about it in my journal and said, “This is something I think Scott and I need to consider.”

A few days later, Scott walked in the door after work and confirmed the idea I hadn’t told him about yet. Uncharacteristically for him, he didn’t even put his briefcase down before he said with an almost puzzled look on his face, “I’ve been thinking a lot about having a coffeehouse.”

I said, “That’s interesting. Let me show you what I wrote in my journal this week.”

We both still find it humorous that Scott actually voiced the idea. He was not even a coffee drinker at the time and never frequented places like Starbucks. I, on the other hand, could often be found working and/or socializing at coffeehouses. Having Scott bring it up without me mentioning it was definitely confirmation to me that the idea was from God.

And that’s how The Merge came to have a coffeehouse. We spent several years defining its purpose: a safe place for the community, a place for church members to build relationships, a place where we interact with the public in a way that feels like a normal part of their everyday lives, a place you can invite people who won’t readily accept an invitation to church.

We didn’t open a coffeehouse to be cool. If you know Scott and me, you know we’re just not that concerned about being hip – good thing because it certainly would not come naturally. We didn’t open a coffeehouse to bring in revenue – good thing because our most recent adventure with the coffeehouse is to offer a “pay what you can” menu so no one is denied service because they can’t afford it. We did not open a coffeehouse for most of the reasons I hear people speculate. We opened a coffeehouse because that’s what God led us to do.

It has been a wonderful adventure so far. I can’t wait to see the ways God uses this place He has helped us create as we continue to follow His leading.

Relief or Freedom?

/ Lisa Womble / 5 Comments

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Contemplating our addictions, temptations, and other common “issues” – self-pity, co-dependency, whatever it might be – and I keep coming to this thought:

When we are struggling with these things, giving in to “the thing” actually makes us feel like we have relief and some sense of control. We feel better because we no longer have the internal struggle that is present while we are trying to resist. It is interesting that when we give in and are experiencing this momentary state of relief and “peace,” it is that very moment that the thing/issue/addiction/temptation has its greatest hold on us. So, I guess we have to choose whether to feel relieved or to be free. It’s a tough choice.

Spiritual Mothers, Baby Feet, and Encouragement

/ Lisa Womble / 2 Comments

This is something I posted last year for Mother’s Day. I’m reposting again as part of this month’s Encourager’s Devotional Series because it was part of the original work I did on the series. I expanded it for this month’s devotion on Spiritual Parenting, but had things in the original that were omitted. It also explains the story behind this month’s thoughts.

Spiritual Mothers, Baby Feet, and Encouragement

“Baby feet have got to be the sweetest things God ever created,” I found myself thinking as I was putting my daycare toddlers down to nap. With my own children being teens, I had forgotten how very much I love baby feet. This daycare job had turned out to be a surprisingly interesting and rewarding experience for me. I say it was a surprise because, when I was first offered the job, I cried – it was the last thing I wanted to do at that point in my life.

After finishing seminary, I had recently moved back to St. Louis. My husband and I both believed that this move was an open door for me to finally fulfill my heart’s desire and look for a job on staff at a church. I had started my job search, but I felt that the Lord was telling me to stop the search and wait. He didn’t tell me what I was waiting for, how long, or why – just wait. I discovered quickly I am not good at waiting!

One day, feeling frustrated, I prayed and asked God to at least tell me how long I was supposed to wait. The next day I got the call to do the full-time subbing job at the daycare in the district where I was substitute teaching. It was going to be a long-term position. I felt God was telling me the wait was going to be longer than I thought – that’s when I cried.

Besides the fact that this seemed like a detour from my dream, I just could not believe I was going to be in a daycare – changing diapers – when my training and experiences in teaching up to that point had been in high school and my most recent schooling was to focus on adult education.

But God moves in mysterious ways, and a few months into the daycare position I found myself actually thanking Him for the experience. I saw how that job actually contributed to my “education” for the work I eventually saw myself doing in the church – teaching and training others in various aspects of church ministry.

And besides that, it gave me some thoughts for the monthly devotional series I was sending out to subscribers at the time. It was called “The Encouragers Devotional Series” and each month I would give suggestions on ways to encourage others. I was working on the devotion for May and, with Mother’s Day approaching, I wanted to write on the idea of being “spiritual parents” to others.

I had planned many Mother’s Day and Father’s Day services in our years in ministry. Each time, I tried to think of ways the service could bless everyone in the congregation and not just those who had good parents or were being honored as good parents. I approached the services realizing that not everyone has a mother or father that is a model Christian or “praiseworthy.” For instance, I knew a young lady who got a little down every time there was some kind of family emphasis at church because she came without her parents. She needed spiritual parents to fill a void for her.

Here’s an excerpt from the devotion I sent out:

There are so many ways one might apply the idea of parenting in a ministry of encouragement. The Apostle Paul was a spiritual parent to Timothy. While Timothy had a strong Christian mother and grandmother (2 Timothy 1:5), his father was not a believer (Acts 16:1). Paul filled that void for him. In the opening of both letters to Timothy, Paul calls him his “son in the faith.” And in Philippians 2:19-22, Paul said Timothy served with him “as a son with his father.”      

My babies (my how they grow on you) at the daycare need various forms of encouragement. As they learn to do things on their own, learn to get along with others, and just learn about the world around them, they sometimes need a guide and a cheerleader. And sometimes, they need correction – remember, one of the definitions for the word encourage in Scripture is “to admonish.”

Children’s temperaments, ability levels, and even their learning styles are different. That’s why they need someone who is attentive to them and knows them well enough to create individualized learning experiences for them. Sometimes they are frustrated and just need someone to encourage them to keep trying, to help them develop confidence. When they fall or get hurt by others, they need comfort (and maybe an ice-pack or Band-Aid). And tangible gifts like hugs, stickers, or toys always make them smile and feel loved.

There are many “babes in Christ” who also need these forms of encouragement. Can you think of any? If not, can you keep your eyes open to look for someone who needs a spiritual parent? Pray that God will direct you to someone.

You might be like me and be a little hesitant to take on such a task, to go into unfamiliar territory. But, also like me, you may just find that God’s assignment for you will be one of the most rewarding things you’ll ever do.

I eventually left my daycare job. Funny thing is, I cried again when I had to leave. While waiting for my dream job to materialize, I learned that God is full of surprises, that all of His children are precious, and that little things like baby feet can bring us incredible joy when we take the time to appreciate them.

More suggestions for practicing encouragement:

  • Send a note of thanks to someone who has been a spiritual parent to you.
  • Try something new. Agree to help in a new area of ministry at your church (maybe even the nursery!). Even if you explain clearly that you just want to “test the waters” for a short “trial period,” I’m sure the person leading that ministry will feel encouraged AND you may just discover something that you really love.
  • And I’ve got another one for military families. I heard someone say that they appreciated the gift of two identical daily devotion books. One was given to them, and the other was sent to their loved one in the military. They said knowing that they were reading the same thing each day helped them feel connected.

Welcome to the table …

/ Lisa Womble / 1 Comment

The table – It can be used for meals, meetings, games, conversation, counsel or even as a make-shift writing spot for those like me who cannot always find the top of their desk (or just prefer to head out to a coffeeshop to write). It is my hope that this blog will serve as a table where we can gather for each of these purposes. So, here are the kinds of things I’ll be posting:

Meals – We all need nourishment for our minds, our bodies and our souls. Through music, art, devotions and challenges to our thinking, may we all be well nourished.

Meetings – I am a certified Grip-Birkman coach and have a passion to help people discover their gifts, personalities, intellectual styles, and occupational motivations. I particularly like to hold team-building seminars and foster appreciation for the fact that an effective team requires people with different ways of thinking and doing. See more at www.gripbirkman.com.

Counsel – Life is messy. Why pretend it’s not? I am a pastor who avoids the idea that there are quick fixes to tough problems; no one here will be told to “just get over it.” Instead, you’ll find links to resources and good advice from others who have been where you are. Those who are suffering and those who are overcoming are welcome to this table to share their life experiences.

Games – We all just need to have fun sometimes. “A merry heart is good medicine” (Proverbs 17:22). You’ll find healthy doses of humor here.

Conversation – I believe the best solutions come when we do life in community. Whether we’re looking for answers to global problems, theological debates, or just day-to-day conundrums, we’ll take a look at varying opinions and develop an ear to really listen and hear what others think and feel about the issues at hand. Open-mindedness and civility will be part of our core values, but that doesn’t mean we’ll tip-toe around the issues.

Writing desk – “Lisa Womble writes hope-inspiring true stories that draw people closer to God and closer to each other.” This was my answer when instructed to draft a one-sentence mantra to keep me focused on the primary goal of my writing. I’m currently working on a book about my friend who is in witness protection. I will be sharing excerpts and reporting on my progress here. It is a powerful story of transformation. But not all stories have to be this dramatic to be powerful. Story sharing is a great way to get to know each other and my aim for this blog is to create a space where we come together to share our stories.

If you want to be understood, tell your story.                                                                                                                                      If you want to understand others, listen to theirs.